Be Exactly Who You Are!

Have ever been in a relationship where your partner consistently complains about you and/or about the things that you do? Or, did they maybe just make subtle comments but you knew they really meant it? These careless acts play on your insecurities and you may have found that you were changing the things about yourself that they were complaining about or commenting on in an effort to avoid the criticism and/or comments. They might have also threatened to end your relationship if you didn’t change.

You may have convinced yourself because you love the person it is a valid and good enough reason to want to change for them. The bottom line is that it is fear on some level that causes you to change for someone else and not love. Changes, no matter how big or small, are not appropriate if they are for someone else. Any time you change anything about yourself to please another, it will have negative consequences. The moment you change one thing, you may be asked to change another and another and another until there comes a point when nothing you do or say is good enough. You will find that a relationship where you are required to change in an effort to make it work will not survive long term.

Whatever you do from here on out, don’t change for anyone else but yourself! If you do, it will backfire at some point because you are, essentially, squashing the spirit of your true self. Eventually, those aspects of yourself that you thought you had changed will be doing whatever it takes to express themselves. The essence of your true nature cannot and will not be held down for long.

More than likely, these changes that you initially made from ‘love’ will manifest as anger and resentment towards your partner for whom you did the changing for in the first place. If they don’t like who you are, that is not your problem, it is theirs. Remind yourself that you choose who you want to be with and vice versa. And gently remind them that if those things bother them so much, maybe you both should consider the possibility that the relationship won’t work out because you respect yourself. And that means that you won’t change to fit someone else’s idea of what the perfect partner should be like. You are who you are and if they don’t like it, they don’t have to be with you. If they don’t love and accept you just as you are, don’t be afraid to tell ‘em to take a hike.

Above all else, be true to yourself body, mind and soul. You will find that honoring and respecting yourself in that way will more quickly result in attracting and experiencing a healthy, loving and fulfilling relationship like you never even dreamed possible.

Warmest Regards,

Lisa Stuart

Copyright © 2006 The Love Attraction Expert

Posted in Singles | Tagged , , | Comments Off

Car Audio Systems – Bigger is Better?

Are Big Car Speakers Better?

If you are planning to purchase car speakers, there are things you need to know in order to make the best choice. A clear mind and a basic plan of what you intend to buy are crucial when shopping for car speakers. Big car speakers do not always mean better speakers.

Purchasing speakers for your car can end up being more costly than necessary if you buy speakers that have numerous features you won’t use. Keep in mind that top quality audio speakers cost more than some other brands, but are generally worth the investment. If big car speakers are your preference, make sure you buy a dependable brand name and make certain the speakers will provide you with crystal clear sound.

There are two basic kinds of car stereo speakers: component speakers and full range speakers. Each has advantages and disadvantages. Full range car stereo speakers generally consist of a tweeter, a woofer, and some may be equipped with a midrange or supertweeter. If you want to replace your factory speakers with minimal trouble, full range speakers are your best choice. Full range speakers come in varying sizes and price ranges.

If big car speakers are your preference, you can find full range speakers in almost any size. Component speakers give you the best possible sound quality through their superior design. The typical components include tweeters, separate woofers, and external crossovers. Each of these components is designed to compliment the others. Big car speakers can be part of a component system if you make sure you have all the necessary components.

For those who are serious about their car stereo speakers, a component system will be the best choice. Your sound system will have greater depth and sound more realistic. You can include big car speakers in a component system. Detailed sound and exceptional dynamics are the result of higher quality materials than are normally found in full range speakers.

The question of which are better – small or big car speakers is not a simple one. Big car speakers may be your preference but that will not ensure you of the getting the best sound. Car stereo speakers come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Determining the type of car audio system you want is much more important than the size of speakers you purchase.

Enjoy!

George Steiner

www.1-caraudio.com [http://www.1-caraudio.com]

Posted in Reconnecting | Comments Off

Romantic Movies That’ll Make You Laugh

Romance is serious business. Or is it?

Which do you think your husband would choose if put to the test:

a.) Watch the beautiful tearjerker movie, The Notebook

b.) Do anything that doesn’t involve watching The Notebook

My answer is easy. My husband would opt for a root canal rather than sitting through a movie like The Notebook or Terms of Endearment. Now don’t get me wrong. That doesn’t mean he’s not romantic. The man loves deeper than I could describe. He’s simply not a fan of traditional ‘romance movies’.

Our date nights usually involve Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, Owen Wilson, or Jim Carrey. Those men don’t know this, but they’re a huge part of what makes our marriage such a joy. The fact that our date nights consist of a fun movie instead of a forced moment means that my husband is happy and relaxed – two very good things for romance.

Are you looking for a lighthearted fun romantic movie that both you and your husband will enjoy? Here are some of our favorites.

The Princess Bride (1987)

“Is this a kissing book?” The Princess Bride is the story of a woman who is being forced to marry a cold, evil prince, while her true love tries to stop the wedding.

I don’t know how many times I tried to get my husband to watch this movie until finally I just put the movie in, clicked ‘play’, and hid the remote. It’s now one of his favorite movies. He likes it because of the comedy and the fighting. I love it because it’s just a joy to watch.

Groundhog Day (1993)

After reluctantly going to cover Punksatawney Phil for Groundhog Day, a weatherman gets stuck living the same day repeatedly.

This is one of my husband’s all-time favorite movies. Plus, if your husband is a fan of Caddyshack, he’ll appreciate Bill Murray battling a rodent once again.

The Wedding Singer (1998)

Robbie, the wedding singer and Julia, the waitress are both engaged to be married but to the wrong people.

Any man who remembers the 80s will thoroughly enjoy this. And, every woman will be teary-eyed when Robbie sings “Grow Old with You” at the end.

Love Actually (2003)

This movie portrays eight stories of love. It shows romantic love, as well as love of a father for his son, love between siblings, and love of friendship. It’s a beautiful story that shows that Love Actually is All Around. It’s funny on so many levels, but also deeply touching.

Romance doesn’t need to be serious. It can be fun! Just enjoy each other. Now go grab a funny movie, snuggle up with your hubby and enjoy.

Posted in Online Dating | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off

Pokemon YouTube And Game Tutorials – Parents Beware

Most of us parents know that there is a lot of harmful content on the Internet and try to protect our kids from. My kid is becoming such a whiz at the computer that it won’t be long before he’ll be able to hack through any protected accounts anyway, so by the time he reaches that age I won’t be able to stop him.

To be frank, I am a parent that truly believes that my children will be better off having as strong computer skills as possible. Our world is changing- fast. I don’t rely on restrictive accounts or filters much; I try to get my children to respect the values that we as parents are teaching them. We believe in trust rather than locking them out. I don’t count the cookies in the cookie jar or the coins in my purse. I trust my kids.

Lately Pokemon this and Pokemon that is all my son has been talking about. He must have about one thousand cards by now and is pestering me for a ‘Black and White’ new game for his DS. He has about five stuffed toys, what he calls Pokemon plush toys. He’s gone positively Pokemon mad which considering his age and interests seems perfectly fine to this mother. His friends get together with their Pokemon cards, sprawl out on the floor and have a grand old time.

Now back to harmful content. Before computers, there were always some jerks about 16 to 18 hanging out on the corner and telling kids graphic details about sex and such. In the world, it’s unavoidable. People for whatever reason become unhealthy. Now, I’ve been watching YouTube videos for years and honestly, though I’ve watched plenty of videos with mature content, I have never been overly disturbed and have regarded it as a pretty safe environment for my kids to wander in and out of (but not linger too long). I even tested YouTube by trying searches for things that I cannot mention here. As I said, all parents want to protect their children from abuse. YouTube faired well in the test.

But I found abuse in YouTube in the last place I would have suspected it- game tutorials like Pokemon! It was just by chance that I stumbled upon it for there is of course no nudity in these and the titles are innocuous (“Black and White, Episode 5″). It is the narrations that are most assuredly damaging children’s minds. A lot of these narratives are not only filled with cursing; they describe abusive, graphic sexual and racial violence. You do not want your kids to be watching this and please spread the word to other parents.

We cannot protect our kids from everything. The Internet has changed things, no doubt, but basically we parents have the bottom line responsibility of teaching respect and love to our children. Pokemon are great- just keep track of your children’s tracks.

Posted in Love | Tagged , | Comments Off

What Does True Love Mean to You?

Most people long for or have an image of a true love that they nourish or search for all their life.

Depending on the level of consciousness, true love can mean something completely different for different people.

On the level of the physical well-being, love is the satisfaction of vital sensual needs and the expression of bodily pleasure and vitality on the base of an intimate relationship.

If there is a distortion on that level, sexual love turns into sex addiction or sexual dependency. In such a case you see the other as an object of your satisfaction. In sex addiction you satisfy your need for bodily stimulation, in sexual dependency your need for affection.

On the level of personal well-being you care for what is best for you and what makes your life fulfilled. The task on this level is to acknowledge and truly love yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses.

If you do not know or appreciate your own value, you make yourself dependent on the appreciation and love of others. You need others to fill yourself not on the sexual level as before but on the emotional-mental realm. You demand appreciation, identity and self-confidence. You enter the relationship as somebody who needs love rather than somebody who is willing to give love.

On the interpersonal level, you look for somebody, who compliments you, stabilises your self worth and satisfies your needs. According to the law of attraction you fall in love with somebody, who looks for the same.

The dilemma is that two dependent people who are attracted to each other for the satisfaction of their dependency needs are not in the position to fulfil each other’s wants. They cling to each other like two burrs, without being able to give each other the nourishment of true love that each one longs for. The frustration of the lacking fulfilment leads to anger and hate.

Some spend their whole life playing this game of love and hate. Others separate and look for a better substitute. Usually the exchange ends in the same drama, if you refuse to unfold your potential.

If you on the personal level have found to yourself and you know your value, you also recognise and acknowledge it in others. When you are satisfied with yourself you don’t request the other person to change for your own sake.

On the contrary: You will support him/her to unfold his or her potential. You stand back, if necessary, or you stand at his/her side. You share your strengths and weaknesses, allow yourself to be vulnerable and in that way deepen the intimacy of the partnership.

The “yes” to the other person is a necessity to provide the safety to master a crisis together. The relationship is an instrument of growing together, and growth means an imbalance in time. This imbalance however does not endanger the relationship, but releases the potential for creative solutions.

The ability for an intimate relationship and an open and fair dispute forms the core for a co-operation within larger circles of people. The perspective on the social level expands from the cell of the pair relationship or family to the social orders, which furthers the social well-being of all.

Through your abilities, your engagement or your love, you strengthen your neighbourhood, your job or organization, which you have joined. You work together on goals, which serve the preservation of life and the common whole.

If true love means to you, that the other should mother and protect you, you will on this level look for a community that might fulfil your needs. This even more so if a couple relationships has not satisfied you. The community becomes a mother substitute.

Instead of synergy you experience the fight around attention, lack of respect for other community members, hidden power struggles, and the defence of privileges

When you reach the level of ethics or principles will you be able to differentiate the different levels with their options and challenges. This level enables you to distance yourself from yourself.

In practice this means, that you can observe, like a neutral observer how you have handled the options and challenges of love on the different levels of development, and what kind of thought forms and behaviour may even today hinder you to give and receive true love. As you are not completely identified with your own thoughts and responses anymore, you can choose how you may best overcome the obstacles.

If your partner for instance would like more room for himself, you will not simply react with fears of loss and trying to hold the partner, but you observe the responses in you and you use your competence to develop another way of dealing with such situations. With the consciousness of the fifth level, you attain the freedom to direct your thoughts and behaviour in such a way that it leads to your chosen goals.

If you integrate all that you have learned on all the levels, you become an embodiment of true love that spreads to all people. This feeling of universal love is the all-encompassing feeling of compassion that Buddha spoke about. It is the wish to ease the suffering of people helping them to understand the transitory nature of this world

Each level has its own qualities and challenges, and it will take time to come to terms with them.

Posted in Enhancement | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off

JVC NZ R206 50Wx4 CD Review

There are a lot of products that are pertained to car audio components and many times, various models from various brands are available. The truth is, without the proper knowledge and information, you might end up buying products or components that are excessively expensive which have features you did not need to have in the first place.

The first thing that you need to do is to consider what your expectations are for your car audio head unit, there are a lot of many amazing products out there which can even allow you to have Bluetooth connectivity and access to hands free phone calls and etc., but make sure you know what you need first and make sure that you are not paying extra for something that you will not be using later on.

This is why knowing what a unit or a certain model from a certain manufacturer is very important before you start off buying any of them. For one, you do not want to buy one that is not capable of functioning under minimum requirements and for another, you might want to upgrade later on in the near future and for certain, you would definitely want to get a unit that is able to cope up with high performance changes.

One of the more popular brands out there is the JVC line of products; these products are well equipped with the latest technology that can definitely cater to all your audio needs. The difference is, not all of their products are generic or made equipped with all the various gadgets and gizmos that it is supposed to have. Instead, it has various models and each model are made specifically to what consumers need to have so that they get exactly what they need and they avoid paying for excess technology.

One of the models that the JVC in car audio products can offer is the JVC NZ R206 50Wx4 CD. This model is very stylish in its design and it is actually quite affordable compared to other models. Although it has lesser function and technology, this model is very appropriate for people who are fond of buying audio CD’s of their favorite artists or bands.

It is basically a MOSFET unit with a high sensitivity tuner. You can buy it original in New Zealand and its quality can be well secured and unlike the many products which are mass produced in various Asian countries. This JVC head unit is basically a stable unit that is ample for routine car audio setups. It can fully accommodate your entire original artist CD’s and I am certain that it be good enough to perform all your basic car stereo tasks.

Posted in Domestic Violence | Tagged | Comments Off

Top Ten Signs You’re As Intelligent As David Letterman

10 – S&P downgraded your IQ.

9 – You just got a brain scan and the machine said, “Please deposit some sense for the next 55 years.”

8 – You blame George W. Bush for everything from the U.S. economy to hurricane Irene to the Japanese Tsunami to your receding hair line.

7 – You developed a gap between your teeth by speaking from both sides of your mouth.

6 – When Barack Obama said he campaigned in 57 States, you said, “If he had started earlier, he could’ve covered all 60.”

5 – You supported candidate Barack Obama for president because you figured a guy who has experience in absolutely nothing and is so clueless that he thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet — hey, it’s almost like you have a twin brother.

4 – You hate Sarah Palin because she’s proven herself to be a smart women who can be governor of a State and write books. You, on the other hand, have proven that with nothing else but dumb luck, any monkey on a rock can run a dog and pony show.

3 – You supported presidential candidate Barack Obama because you figured he cannot possibly repeat all the mistakes the last president made in eight years. And you were right. He did it in one year.

2 – When Barack Obama said, “On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes — and I see many of them in the audience here today… ” you said, “What a president! Even our fallen heroes come to hear him speak!”

1 – S&P just downgraded your IQ again. It’s now so low you’re even starting to look like David Letterman.

In all seriousness, I tried to find something nice to say about tooth-gap Dave. But fiction was never my forte.

For sound advise on who is or is not a good political candidate, entertainers should be the last people to rely on. Barack Obama is one excellent example of how misled the public can get by false impressions perpetuated by public figures who rely more on image than experience and accomplishments.

To now have little to say about the complete and utter failure of the Barack Obama presidency, yet still talk about the “failures” of George W. Bush, and the imagined “incompetence” of a brilliant and vibrant person like Sarah Palin, shows the great disconnect some entertainers have with honesty and reality.

Posted in Dating | Tagged , | Comments Off

Recovering From Divorce

No matter how we try to deny it, people today are no longer as patient as those of the past. One thing that can be viewed as proof to this is the rising number of divorces occurring each year. It seems as though couples just cannot find the patience and perseverance to stick it out with each other through the end just as each marriage is hoped to be. It seems that wives have become less tolerant of their husbands’ manly vices and husbands have become so short-tempered when their wives no longer find time to be beautiful. In short, these days, it takes a lot more to make a marriage work. There is a need for both parties to really want to work things out so they can make what they have last forever.

The problem is when forever seems too long. When couples no longer see themselves living in the same house, that means divorce is looming. Good if both parties want the union to end, but what if one doesn’t? If you’re in this boat and hurting form a failed marriage, there is nothing you can do about that hurt. You will feel it because you have loved the person and losing him will surely be painful. The good news is, it doesn’t always have to be pain that you will get from the experience. Getting over a divorce can be a hard process, but it is perfectly doable. The question is how.

First, to survive divorce, you need to understand that you do have a choice no matter what and no matter when. You can choose to wallow forever in your misery or to rise above your circumstances and start living your life and moving on. It is always your choice because you are always free to do what you want to do in your life. Nobody can take that freedom away from you, so you should use it to your full advantage. Sure, give yourself time to hurt. But give yourself the chance to mend the pieces as well. This is, indeed, the first big step you have to take – accept that you’ve been hurt and choose to overcome this hurt when you are ready.

The second important step in surviving a divorce is opening yourself up to people. It is easy to want to stay locked up in your room after breaking up with someone you have lived with for years. But no matter how you try to deny it, you are a human being and you are always better off with the support of people who love you. Of course, in any grieving process, time to be alone is essential. But make sure you don’t make this time drag on too long. Even in grief and even in pain, you need people. In fact, the more you need people when you are feeling down and stressed out. So don’t punish yourself. Spend a day, week or month alone at home, but don’t let this drag on too long. Remember that time is always on your side. Listen when it says it’s time to move on.

Posted in Conflict | Tagged , , , | Comments Off

Things You May Need When Learning to Play Guitar

You may have bought an acoustic guitar and think that is all you need to start playing. Though it is true that the guitar is the most important thing in this equation, it is far from the only thing. Making sure you have all the proper accessories can be equally as important. Here are a few items you should talk to your guitar instructor about to see if indeed you require them.

First off is a good case. An acoustic guitar is generally an expensive instrument and deserves to be taken care of. A case is the first line of defense for a guitar. There are two types to chose from. There is a gig case which is a soft fabric case. And there is a hard-shell case, which is basically just what it sounds like, a case with a hard outer shell. I prefer hard-shell cases because I feel my guitars are better protected in them. However they are more expensive than gig cases. Make sure you talk with your acoustic guitar teacher to better aid you in your decision.

Another beyond important accessory is a digital guitar tuner. I absolutely love my tuner. Though I can tune my guitar by ear, I do not have what is known as perfect pitch. In fact, very few people do. So a tuner is very important, especially for the beginner. It allows you to make sure that your guitar and all of it’s strings are in tune and where they need to be. Because there is little point in learning how to play your favorite songs if the guitar is out of tune and nothing sounds correct.

Guitar picks are also very important. Though they are not necessary, and in fact many guitar players do not use them, I still like to play with them, and I encourage everyone, especially the beginners to give them a whirl and decided for themselves if they want to use them. They are usually pretty inexpensive and come in a wide range of styles, thicknesses and what they are made from. Find the one that works for you and try it.

A guitar strap is also important if you are going to be standing and playing for two reasons. One it is obviously easier to play and not have to worry about holding the guitar up as well. And in case you lose your grip on your acoustic guitar, it is not going to hit the ground. Straps can be very inexpensive and should be considered by the beginner.

There are many more accessories for the beginner acoustic guitar player. Some more important than others. However this short list is probably the most important. Take them into consideration and be sure to discuss them with your guitar instructor. Happy strumming.

Posted in Commitment | Tagged , | Comments Off

Fuel Efficiency – How To Measure Your Vehicle Fuel Efficiency

With the cost of oil based fuels spiraling upwards in a never ending progression, it is now more important than ever to consider how fuel efficient your vehicles are and learning ways of improving fuel efficiency. The first thing that you need to be able to do however, is determine what the current fuel efficiency of your vehicle is so that you are able to measure and record readings for future reference. Once this skill is mastered, then you can start to experiment with methods to improve your vehicle fuel efficiency and know that you have a reliable mechanism for measuring the results.

Let’s take the example of your family car for instance. The first thing you can do is refer to the manufacturers specifications for fuel usage, however you need to understand that these figures are not necessarily accurate – maybe the manufacturer has over optimistically stated the performance. So next task is to read the car reviews in magazines or online to determine what “real life” results have already been recorded by car enthusiasts – these results may differ from what the manufacturer states, but they are real results from real life driving tests and hence more likely to be accurate.

Now that you have some statistics about your model of car to start with, it is time to measure your own vehicle performance. This is quite a straight forward method that I have used accurately for decades, so I recommend that you give it a try. When you go to the fuel station you need to do two things. The first is to reset your trip meter to zero or otherwise record the car mileage from the odometer. You then fill the tank right up to the very top of the filler pipe – so that you can see the fuel right at the top. That gives you a reference point for your future measurements. Secondly you record the quantity (number of litres/gallons) of fuel required to top up the tank from the fuel pump.

After driving your car around for a week or so, your fuel tank will be ready for a refill. You don’t need to empty the tank because this method will work regardless of the amount used. When you fill up the tank to the very top of the filler pipe again, you record the quantity of fuel used from the fuel pump and the mileage off your car’s trip meter. You then simply divide the mileage by the fuel quantity, giving you a mile per gallon or kilometers per litre result. This is your reference point and you will find that recording these results consistently will help you understand how your vehicle is performing under different driving conditions and over time. You may then wish to try out ways to improve your vehicle fuel efficiency, once you know how to measure it accurately using the method described above.

You may also need to apply some math to convert your figures to a format that the car manufacturer uses because your result could be, say 9 kilometers per litre of fuel, but the manufacturer may state that as 11 litres of fuel per 100km, it means the same thing but is stated differently ie 100 divided by 11 gives you 9 – happy motoring.

Posted in Affairs | Comments Off